I work with capable, emotionally aware women who look “fine” on the outside
but feel disconnected, overwhelmed, and unsure who they are anymore inside their relationship.
This is not about fixing your partner.
It’s not about analysing yourself harder.
And it’s not about becoming someone else.
This is about ending the inner war so you can come back to yourself.
Most women who work with are not lost in life.
They are intelligent. Capable. Emotionally aware.
They’ve built careers, families, relationships.
They know how to function.
What they are exhausted from is holding everything together.
They manage emotions.
They manage relationships.
They manage how much of themselves they show.
And slowly, quietly, they start disappearing inside their own life.
Not because they are weak.
But because they’ve been fighting themselves for too long.
The myth that keeps you STUCK:
At some point, you've probably been told: “Just love yourself.”
But here’s the part no one says out loud.
Most women have never experienced unconditional love! Not from a partner. Not from their parents. Not consistently from anyone.
So asking yourself to love what you’ve learned to judge, control, or fix doesn’t create peace.
It creates pressure.
And pressure turns into an inner war:
⚡️with your thoughts
⚡️with your emotions
⚡️with your body
⚡️with your age
⚡️with your grief
⚡️with who you think you should be
Trying to love yourself while judging yourself is exhausting.
That’s why it doesn’t work.
WHAT ACTUALLY CHANGES EVERYTHING
...doesn’t start with self-love - it starts with self-acceptance.
Not resignation.
Not giving up.
Not “this is just how I am”.
Acceptance as in:
💕 This is what is here today.
💕 These thoughts are present.
💕 This emotion exists.
💕 This body is mine right now.
💕 This is where I am - without shame or blame.
When the fight stops, something important happens.
The spiralling slows.
The overwhelm eases.
The nervous system settles.
Not because you forced positivity but because you stopped attacking yourself.
Clarity doesn’t come from effort, it comes when the war ends.
When I work with women, I don’t teach them how to become someone else.
I don’t ask them to bypass grief, overwhelm, anger, or doubt. I don’t ask them to perform healing. And I don’t build my work on affirmations, manifestation, or endless journaling.
Those can be useful tools but they are not the foundation..
The foundation is ending the inner war.
We work at the level where patterns dissolve instead of being managed:
- subconscious beliefs
- emotional responses
- internal narratives
- the body’s learned survival strategies
When the war stops, you don’t need to be told who you are.
You start recognising yourself again.
And from that place setting boundaries becomes natural, making decisions feel clearer, your relationship shifts without force, your identity stabilises, and becoming your true self happens organically.
My story - and what my work is build on
I had built a successful coaching career in the UK and then moved to China for love.
From the outside, things looked fine. From the inside, I was slowly losing myself.
The fifth miscarriage. A new job. No family or friends.
COVID, which lead to financial dependence for the first time in my adult life.
I kept functioning. I kept coping. I kept telling myself to be grateful and strong - while quietly fighting myself every day.
I didn’t realise how far it had gone until one ordinary moment in a supermarket.
Standing in an aisle, I found myself debating whether I deserved to buy a two-dollar bottle of nail-polish remover.
I wasn’t even holding it, just circling, justifying, shrinking.
That moment wasn’t about the nail-polish remover.
It was the moment I saw the inner war clearly.
I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t failing at self-love.
I was at war with myself and I had mistaken that for "being strong".
What changed everything wasn’t trying harder or fixing my mindset.
It was learning to stop fighting what was already there.
When the war stopped, my nervous system settled, clarity returned, and my sense of self stopped slipping away.
That experience reshaped how I work with women.
I don’t teach self-love, affirmations, or performance healing.
I help women end the inner war so they can come back to themselves and build relationships from stability, not survival.
How we can work together
Remember:
You don’t need to fix yourself.
You don’t need to try harder.
And you don’t need to become someone else.
When you to stop fighting yourself,
you start coming back to who you already are!
Testimonials
I don't judge myself anymore.
I feel safe with myself again.
"I was blown away by the worst crisis of my life so far when I came across Anna. She taught me self-confidence and made it "ok" to pursuit happiness - magically making me feel good and strong and protected/safe with myself."
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